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mitzishark) wrote2023-08-22 01:42 am
mitzishark) wrote2023-08-22 01:42 am
Entry tags:
disorganised thoughts
OH hello again!
I'm really liking the idea of blogging. I'll need to dive a whole lot deeper into html to figure out what I'm really doing with this.. but for now, more unformatted ramblings stretch across my blogging horizon. I DID however remember to put some icons in here though, so there should be a couple I can cycle through!!
I'm certainly not used to unlimited words. it feels too powerful.. what twitter will do to a mf.
though my thoughts tend to stay just as disorganised as ever regardless.
I spent a lot of my afternoon class making notes about things I could write about in my next blog post, which is funny, because for the Life of me I can't successfully listen to words and write different words at the same time. I can't listen to Anything with lyrics or anything spoken when I'm writing or brainstorming, or I'll just end up typing out parts of whatever I'm listening to. So my note to myself about what to write in this post had bits and pieces of the job-demand-control-support model of reducing employee stress in the workplace from whenever I tuned back in to paying attention to the discussions going on. go figure.
Since I've been drawing again (I say 'again' like it ever really left or it's been 'back' for longer than a couple days but I digress)(actually, another blog post might be in order for that one, I've picked up some of Holden's creative block ideas I think. I do partially agree that it Isn't All Real, though maybe I lean toward 'creative droughts can be overcome with enough effort but sometimes it's easier to just let them sail their course' but all that aside) I've been watching / listening to more video essays while I draw. maybe I'll make a Feef's Video Essay And General Background Noise Masterpost if y'all ever want recommendations but. tell me if you want to see it (and by 'it' i mean me rambling about long youtube videos i like forever.. either way lmk HEBKSDHJBSFD) but one video essay in particular I haven't stopped thinking about for a bit though, is on the asexual experience. particularly the bi-to-ace pipeline and the Imposter Syndrome rife in the process of changing labels and having to re-explain yourself. most of the people I came out to as bi in high school, I never ended up telling about being ace Now. it isn't really a Problem. I don't owe them anything. maybe. but it still does feel strange. regardless, I still have a lot of Coming To Terms With Myself left yet to do, but hearing different perspectives on a similar experience is always nice. plus they had a slight australian accent and I have to appreciate the rep! on the other end of the video essay spectrum is the 4-hour xenoblade retrospective I Demolished in a single sitting. video game I am completely normal about Indeed!
what else was I going to say. HEKBHDJSDB
OH I got a message from the piercing place near my work that they have 50% off apprentice piercings for a couple weeks. GAH the timing.. if only I waited another week to get my new ones done.. ripped off. maybe next time I'll get that lucky.
PLUS the FUCKING REFERENDUM BOOKLET CAME! finally. they haven't called the damn thing yet, of course, but at least this part is over and they can get on with it maybe. but the funniest thing to me is that the layout of the pamphlet is somehow the weirdest way they could have done it. each side gets 2000 words to make their case, but in the interest of 'not favouring one argument over the other' the arguments are on Every Other Page, so the 'yes' folks get the left page and the 'no' guys get the right page. which sure. succeeds in being an Extremely Frustrating reading experience and about nothing else. gold star !
slowly becoming eep central over here so I might turn it in for the night and post this half-coherent Something!
I sometimes used to do process journals when I drew or painted something particularly big, it's fun pretending decisions are intentional, so maybe I'll bring that back again.. I don't have any concrete ideas for what I'll do with the blog but. its nice.
we'll see what it becomes :)
I'm really liking the idea of blogging. I'll need to dive a whole lot deeper into html to figure out what I'm really doing with this.. but for now, more unformatted ramblings stretch across my blogging horizon. I DID however remember to put some icons in here though, so there should be a couple I can cycle through!!
I'm certainly not used to unlimited words. it feels too powerful.. what twitter will do to a mf.
though my thoughts tend to stay just as disorganised as ever regardless.
I spent a lot of my afternoon class making notes about things I could write about in my next blog post, which is funny, because for the Life of me I can't successfully listen to words and write different words at the same time. I can't listen to Anything with lyrics or anything spoken when I'm writing or brainstorming, or I'll just end up typing out parts of whatever I'm listening to. So my note to myself about what to write in this post had bits and pieces of the job-demand-control-support model of reducing employee stress in the workplace from whenever I tuned back in to paying attention to the discussions going on. go figure.
Since I've been drawing again (I say 'again' like it ever really left or it's been 'back' for longer than a couple days but I digress)(actually, another blog post might be in order for that one, I've picked up some of Holden's creative block ideas I think. I do partially agree that it Isn't All Real, though maybe I lean toward 'creative droughts can be overcome with enough effort but sometimes it's easier to just let them sail their course' but all that aside) I've been watching / listening to more video essays while I draw. maybe I'll make a Feef's Video Essay And General Background Noise Masterpost if y'all ever want recommendations but. tell me if you want to see it (and by 'it' i mean me rambling about long youtube videos i like forever.. either way lmk HEBKSDHJBSFD) but one video essay in particular I haven't stopped thinking about for a bit though, is on the asexual experience. particularly the bi-to-ace pipeline and the Imposter Syndrome rife in the process of changing labels and having to re-explain yourself. most of the people I came out to as bi in high school, I never ended up telling about being ace Now. it isn't really a Problem. I don't owe them anything. maybe. but it still does feel strange. regardless, I still have a lot of Coming To Terms With Myself left yet to do, but hearing different perspectives on a similar experience is always nice. plus they had a slight australian accent and I have to appreciate the rep! on the other end of the video essay spectrum is the 4-hour xenoblade retrospective I Demolished in a single sitting. video game I am completely normal about Indeed!
what else was I going to say. HEKBHDJSDB
OH I got a message from the piercing place near my work that they have 50% off apprentice piercings for a couple weeks. GAH the timing.. if only I waited another week to get my new ones done.. ripped off. maybe next time I'll get that lucky.
PLUS the FUCKING REFERENDUM BOOKLET CAME! finally. they haven't called the damn thing yet, of course, but at least this part is over and they can get on with it maybe. but the funniest thing to me is that the layout of the pamphlet is somehow the weirdest way they could have done it. each side gets 2000 words to make their case, but in the interest of 'not favouring one argument over the other' the arguments are on Every Other Page, so the 'yes' folks get the left page and the 'no' guys get the right page. which sure. succeeds in being an Extremely Frustrating reading experience and about nothing else. gold star !
slowly becoming eep central over here so I might turn it in for the night and post this half-coherent Something!
I sometimes used to do process journals when I drew or painted something particularly big, it's fun pretending decisions are intentional, so maybe I'll bring that back again.. I don't have any concrete ideas for what I'll do with the blog but. its nice.
we'll see what it becomes :)
no subject
weghh there's this really common phenomenon in the trans community (esp the transmasc community) of the dreaded third coming out (for example, going from lesbian -> straight trans man -> gay trans man) that i know I'VE experienced and it's so exhausting coming out more than twice. this is the same reason why most of my family doesn't know i'm gay, because it's honestly just a hassle to explain. so!!! i'd be really interested to hear more abt that bi -> ace pipeline bc it sounds a little similar!!!
i feel like so much of our culture around identity and coming out sees it as one monumental moment that you can never go back on, and i've really changed my views on that stuff in the last few years... like, it's normal to change throughout your lifetime in all sorts of ways, and gender/sexuality is just an extension of that. it's way less plausible that someone is going to be (or believe themselves to be, depending on your views on that wwww i tend to think of my past self as being those past labels, so i genuinely think of myself as someone who WAS a girl and WAS a lesbian as opposed to a man who just hadn't realized how wrong he was and all the way most trans people do.... but that's a crazy long tangent already) one thing for their entire life.
also FOUR HOUR XENOBLADE VIDEO ESSAY you are FED
no subject
gahhhh yeah .. the fact that people (especially young people!) are Constantly Changing does Not mesh with the expectation that's been built of a Coming Out being like a one-and-done deal.. (something something insert the 'show me a permanent phase of the self, MOM' tumblr textpost here) and you're RIGHT its more of a Chore than anything to have to explain and re-explain and re-explain yourself.
i would be KEEN to hear your thoughts on thinking about the different stages of your life as you were when you experienced them, rather than in context for who you are Now if you ever care to share because YEAH! that's REAL!! i think i kind of think similarly, i Was once a young girl but now im just. less young. less girl. that doesn't change the young-ness and girl-ness of who i used to be though!!
i think the bi -> ace pipeline is more common than i thought ! i'll link the video i talked about in the Upcoming Masterpost because they put it much more eloquently than i ever could HEBDKJBFJKS
no subject